hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
