Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
