When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
