The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Im part way to drunk.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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