ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I think I just shit out all my problems.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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