My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Randomize
