She said her name was "party"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
