We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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