Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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