Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
