u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
