I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
