Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
