I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
