i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
