I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My Sexting was not on an AP level
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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