so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
