STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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