So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Randomize
