she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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