apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
