Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
