What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
