so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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