we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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