There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
