So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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