everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
