Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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