Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
