Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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