ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Randomize
