he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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