So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
