He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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