Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
