Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
