im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i dont even know how to be here
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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