please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
