this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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