hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
