he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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