Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
