K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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