how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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