This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
