god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
