its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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