I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
