I think my fart just growled at me.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
