things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
