Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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