if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
