In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
this just has baby written all over it
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
