I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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