apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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