is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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