i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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