i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
