piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Can you bring me the toilet please
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
