There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
